Thoughts..

So lately I've been thinking a lot about Cavallo and his situation and my situation. I'll start with his..
So his story goes like this: He was "started" as a dressage horse (my thoughts are that he had a saddle thrown on him and was kicked to go, and pulled to stop) and was a total handful. He ended up running off with his owner's grandpa, and their five year old daughter. They decided enough was enough and dumped him on my mom and I's friend. She didn't have enough time or cash to care for him like she wanted to, so thats when he ended up in my hands. When I got him, I thought I was getting an LBE playful, confident horse. Turns out I came into a tripolar, emotional mess! I've had him for almost a year now. Just as I thought we were heading for a major breakthrough, I feel his confidence has plumetted again. He's jumpy and skeptical, and I haven't changed a thing I'm doing. I really don't understand. He's quite a handful, and although I do love him to death, I've been thinking lately, is he too much horse for my skill level? Did I take on a big project before I was ready? The reason I took him was to have a second riding horse, because my main riding horse is 25, and you know the rest!
I've been thinking, is Cavallo fulfilling my needs? Am I fulfilling his? Well, the first one is no. That's not his fault, it was mine. I feel like I'm fulfilling most of his needs..I'm building his confidence while at the same time playing lots and going as slow as he needs.
I do have a contract with the friend that we got him from saying that if we don't like him, we can give him back and she will rehome him. Here's where I always get emotional. I start thinking, I can't give up on this guy! He's already been rejected twice, and a third can't happen. He needs a permanent home with a permanent partner whose going to love him and show him that humans really arent bad! As we were playing today, I started doing some new stuff like transitions on a circle using my stick instead of the line. He's so brilliant..he picked it up right away and looked at me like DID I GET IT RIGHT?! He really just wants to do the right thing. When he gets scared, he comes around quick. Whenever I play with him, I can't help but think how much I love him and how fascinating he is. He can flip from RBE to RBI to LBE in a matter of minutes, and I love seeing what I can do to help him become confident. I believe he fell into my hands for a reason. I wasn't looking for a horse like him, at all! I wanted a horse that was rideable, and mainly one horsenality. Instead, I was instantly attracted to him. He needed me, and I needed him, so in conclusion, I'm keeping him, because he's just the teacher I need, and he's just the challenge for me. Also because he needs a natural home, where he'll always be understood and given what he needs, mentally, physically, and emotionally. He's my boy, and that's how its gonna stay. I wouldn't want it any other way. I mean it is "Horses teach humans, humans teach horses," right?
Savvy On!